After gaining a greater understanding of narcissism and doing the work to heal from your personal wounds, it is essential to maintain just a few issues in thoughts to interrupt the cycle and keep away from that legacy of narcissism, which Behary talked about. Meaning doing all the pieces in your energy to maintain your youngsters from having the identical expertise and growing up to be narcissists themselves.
One of the crucial essential elements is permitting your youngster to expertise some separation from you, in response to psychoanalyst Laurie Hollman, Ph.D.
“There’s a stage of kid growth referred to as separation-individuation throughout the first three years of life,” Hollman writes in her e-book Are You Living With a Narcissist? “That is when the kid should work out his must really feel near an admiring mom whereas additionally creating a wholesome separation the place he can tolerate that he’s not all-powerful and grandiose.” In different phrases, enable your youngster to develop their very own id other than you, and to really feel secure doing so.
On the similar time, it is essential for folks to set limits–especially in the event that they’re nervous about elevating a future narcissist. Some dad and mom battle to self-discipline, particularly those that are people-pleasers because of themselves being raised with narcissistic dad and mom. However youngsters require wholesome limitations.
“The kid wants [his mother] to set limits in order that he is aware of easy methods to relate to others in a method that’s acceptable,” Hollman writes. “If he’s too highly effective, he expects that he’s entitled to greater than a toddler ought to have.”